Self-sabotaging

Posted by Alyssa Earp on

I’ve done everything short of actually doing The Things. I’ve done the seminars, webinars, groups, workshops, courses. I have all the freebies. I know the strategies. I never use them. I don’t read my mountain of books. And I’m still running in circles.


“I gotta do this this and this before I can launch”


“I can’t launch until I get this done”

 

Just excuses. Busywork to keep my brain feeling like I’m working without actually accomplishing anything meaningful.

 

I sign up for classes I don’t take. I buy books I don’t read. It counts if I have them, right? They all say “it’s the thought that counts”.

 

I am the queen, nay, the Empress of procrastination and self-sabotage. I am afraid.

 

The insurmountable wall before me says in bold, neon letters YOU CANNOT PROCEED UNLESS YOU HAVE A STEP BY STEP PLAN AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN because I am Mercury dominant and am the best at paralyzing myself with self-imposed restrictions & rules. Even writing this right now is avoiding The Work.

 

I am afraid of letting myself succeed. I don’t know what that looks like, what if nothing happens and I don’t succeed? What if I can’t figure it out? How do you get out of your own way?

 

Fear really is the mind-killer.

 


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